...born on October 22nd, 2009. Like every baby born into this world, there is always a story behind his life even before he has exited his mother’s womb. This is Ezekiel’s story and what transpired in our lives (the mother and father) before and after his conception.
To finally be able to see and hold this blessing was unbelievable. It seemed like this day would never come. All the pain and worries from the past melted away in that one moment of time. Our baby boy, Ezekiel, had entered this world at 2:17 am on October 22nd. A precious baby weighing 8 pounds 15 ounces, a gift from God!
The life of Ezekiel has been a journey that I could never have imaged, not only for him but also for my wife and me. The odds of Ezekiel ever being born were against him. But God had a plan long ago for this child; a plan we never would have seen without God’s love, grace and mercy upon us.
Let’s rewind a bit….We were living in Omaha , Nebraska Charlotte , North Carolina Omaha to Charlotte were just as likely as me moving to Antarctica . At first I listened to the offer but never truly believed I would actually take it. Next thing I knew I was on a plane (btw, I hate flying, another reason I didn’t think I would actually move) to Charlotte Charlotte
Before accepting the new job I had decided four children was enough for us and choose to have a vasectomy. At the time we already had a minivan and a fifth child would mean we would have needed to purchase a church van or something. I didn’t know families ever actually owned such a thing until I moved to North Carolina
So years went by and I never thought much about that decision until April of 2006, this is when I heard a sermon preached on something that I had never really thought about. The pastor simply said that children are a blessing….Children are a gift from God….God is the Creator and taker of life not me….A simple message but a message I don’t think our churches hear much of any longer. This hit me square in the heart. I began to examine my reasoning as to why I so quickly decided to have a vasectomy. Well I came to the conclusion that I did it for me. Who was I to cut off life and God’s work? Who was I to push away the blessings of God? If God wanted to bless me with 10 million dollars I wouldn’t say, “Thanks but no thanks God, but I will take 1 million of it.” So who was I to say to God, “Four children is all I want, don’t bother me with Your creating life thing. I’m the one to say how many You’re going to give us.”
Seeing this mindset in others really gets to me now, but knowing that I had the same thoughts, and the actions behind it by having the vasectomy, I know what they are going through. It is amazing that in our culture you are looked at as weird people for having more than two or three children. God made us in His image to create life His way, which is by marrying and having children. The mindset of “We are going to have two children. If we're lucky we'll get a boy and girl. Plus we're gonna wait a few years so we have time to 'enjoy' each other or start our careers. This is not the heart of God. To start with I want to say that I had these same thoughts and beliefs just as you may have and I’m not condemning you for it. I am simply saying to open up your mind to changing the way you are thinking. Acknowledge and live God’s way, not your way.
So after repenting of having the vasectomy I began to take action. Repentance without action (becoming a doer of the Word) really isn’t repentance at all. At this point the action would be to have a vasectomy reversal. I began researching it and found out a couple of things. First of all, it wasn’t covered by my insurance company. Imagine that, they didn’t mind paying for the vasectomy but the reversal would have to be done on your own dime. I guess financially for the insurance company that makes sense. They would never have to pay for another hospital stay and delivery for my wife and a new baby again without the reversal. Secondly, I found out the price of this surgery was more than I had or would be able to have for quite some time with a cost of 5 to 10 thousand dollars for the surgery alone. I was trying to do the right thing, but financially it just wasn’t going to work. Without a miracle from God it wasn’t going to happen. I continued in prayer and search for a way. I didn’t ask anyone for money, I just continued seeking God and seeking another way. A few months later I found a doctor in Oklahoma Muskogee , Oklahoma
Now we had to wait and see if the surgery was a success or not. I was told that it usually takes at least 6 months and sometimes even longer for results. And since it had been six years since I had the vasectomy the chances of the reversal working were even slimmer. In November, even knowing that it may take a while, we began to feel like maybe it didn’t work. We continued to trust God, that He was faithful. On February 6th, 2008 Joyce took a home pregnancy test and it was positive! We rejoiced and told everyone with a pulse! We were so excited; I couldn’t belief the transformation that God had done in our lives from not even a thought or regret about the vasectomy to Joyce becoming pregnant again in just under two years.
But our joy turned into grief, sadness and disbelief; on March 31st Joyce miscarried our baby at 13 weeks along in her pregnancy. We never found out if our baby was a boy or a girl. This was probably the worst day in my life. Having to come home from the hospital to tell our other children that the baby died was so hard to do.
At this point we probably could have thrown in the towel and decided having the reversal was a mistake or just quit trying. Did God really say to have a reversal? If He did then why did we have a miscarriage? In this our marriage was strengthened and we moved forward. In July we found out Joyce was pregnant again! Again we rejoiced and told the children. Our son Elijah actually shouted this news to anyone in our neighborhood who was outside at the time. But again our excitement was turned to disappointment at a doctor’s appointment a few months later. The doctor couldn’t find a heartbeat and we were told we would just have to wait it out for the baby to miscarry. This news was devastating! As I write this I can feel these feelings coming back. We did what God wanted us to do and now we have suffered the loss of two babies within 6 months. This was so hard to bear on our own. This time in our lives I am reminded of the poem “Footprints in the Sand”; God truly was the only one who could have carried us at this time. We could not bear this in our own strength, only with God’s strength. This was October of 2008.
Next we made the decision to let Joyce’s body recover and maybe try again in the future; it seemed to make sense to us. We decided to avoid pregnancy as much as we could in our own power at this point. One morning I prayed to God that my wife would be pregnant again even as we were trying not to get pregnant. In January of 2009 we found out Joyce was pregnant for the 3rd time in the past year. We rejoiced again but were also fearful of the unknown. Will we loose another baby? That just seemed like so much to bear. We didn’t tell the children or anyone else for quite awhile this time. It is horrible for someone to ask how the pregnancy is going and having to tell them that you had a miscarriage, so we just decided to wait a while before sharing the news with too many friends and family.
When the baby was about 10 weeks along we were at a doctor’s appointment. Again the doctor couldn’t hear the heartbeat. We couldn’t believe our ears, it was like ‘here we go again’; it was devastating! The ultrasound technician just happened to be at our doctor’s office on that day so our doctor had Joyce get an ultrasound just to verify that no heartbeat could be detected. I wasn’t allowed in the room so I was waiting outside trying to peek in through the crack of the door just praying for the life of our child. I’m sure the technician hates this part of his job, having to be the one to say, “I’m sorry but I can’t find the heartbeat either.” But on this day he was able to give us good news! He found the heartbeat, our baby was alive, he was just hiding or God raised him from the dead. I don’t know, nor do I need to know. I just grabbed my wife’s hand and rejoiced with tears. We had started to despise the sonogram monitor because every time it was used we received bad news. At the next appointment we dreaded the moment that the doctor would try to detect the heartbeat, but this time the doctor found the heartbeat instantly. What a blessing that was!
The miscarriages that Joyce had were probably due to low progesterone levels. Throughout her last 2 pregnancies she was getting shots to boost this level. Most doctors probably don’t do this, so just the fact that we found a doctor willing to do this had been a blessing. Throughout this last pregnancy her levels were usually normal; she continued her shots and taking other medications to raise the level up until she was 36 weeks along.
We chose this babies name carefully. His middle name; Matthias means ‘Gift from God’ and his first name; Ezekiel means ‘Strength of God’. I know this child is a gift, no doubt, and without God’s strength we never could have endured the last couple years. I can’t wait to see what God does in Ezekiel Matthias’ life to advance His kingdom and His Glory for ever and ever!
If you find yourself in a situation similar to ours ,I want to encourage you to trust God. Maybe you’ve had a vasectomy or maybe you’re contemplating that decision right now. Maybe you’re using birth control. Maybe you’ve had a miscarriage or multiple miscarriages. Maybe you’ve been trying to get pregnant but it hasn’t happened. Maybe you’ve even been told that you can’t get pregnant. I don’t know your situation, but God does. Give back to God what is His domain, creating life!
Here is a link to the website of the doctor that I went to see in Muskogee , Oklahoma
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